Finding a perfect mate for some women is a dream they live almost everyday of their lives where as for some it is just an illusion. Where the world and the literature is full of examples telling us that there’s exists a dream partner, present times have a different story to tell.

I am not against the fact that we can’t find a perfect mate for ourselves. We surely can but our approach towards this search does not suit the present scenario or rather no one should ever employ that thought thinking she’ll find a man of her dreams one day.

See the fact is when we first create an image of the kind of person we want in our life, it becomes static in our mind. We have exact boundaries of what should the person be doing, thinking, eating, dressing and behaving. And when we start meeting real men around us, we are never able to relate to any of them because we feel that they are somehow not fitting into our image-eligibility criteria of accepting them as our partner. So even if we like someone but he is a shade different from the image we are bearing in our mind, we drop him. And so our search and wait for our perfect mate goes on and on and on.

You know if we get a bit deeper into this, this like a rat race which possibly never ends. No man (made up of flesh and blood) can fit into the criteria of being your perfect one until you learn to accept his uniqueness as a person. Every individual is different in his own way and your mind (unless you are god) can ever carve out the exact qualities a man will ever have and then dream about it.

What is important for you to think is what do you really crave for as a person? Once you become aware about your own innate self, you learn that meeting different people and appreciating their uniqueness isn’t a burden on you. Once you are sure of the basic thing you seek in a person, the rest can be just put to god because you never know a wonderful person may come your way and make you happier than you ever thought to be with the virtual man in your mind.

The idea here is to be open as a person; take time to meditate as to what is important in your life and you’ll never victimize yourself with an image and spend all your life around it.

Last heard, stress, depression and anxiety wreak havoc on the libido. Not exactly is this the breaking news stuff but much more pertinent today than ever. Since the times are worrying and too much of competition is killing the happy you The worries are eating you away. And if the man doesn’t share this havoc with his wife, he may be adding up to his problems.

If you avoid the sex, or if you show less interest in it, then your wife may suspect you of having an affair or loosing interest in her, etc.
The reason behind this kind of thinking from her side is surely due to the lack of communication, if you do not tell your wife about the crisis you are facing and this is the reason you are not able o get close with her physically, she is bound to think negative and grow crazy thinking negative.

Stress is a big buzz kill in bed, but the non-denying fact is that it also helps you come physically close in the troubled times. Sex certainly helps you share your problems more genuinely. To give you a nice quote about it, it is not just about unbuttoning your man’s shirt, but about unbuttoning his heart and his worries and yup becoming more close to his heart.

But with worries regarding your mortgages and the bills to pay, sex actually takes a back seat. But you must not forget, it is not about having sex, but it is about being together. If you are not up for sex then make sure that you must opt for activities which involve physical closeness. Some sports like swimming, tennis, biking, cooking or gardening, or say jus simple exercise can bring you close. Do anything which you think can bring you close, the only thing being that you stay true to yourself and your man about your feelings.

Nothing beats physical closeness your relationships lifesaver. Like they say, the best things in life are free. And sex is not only that but a great way to burn calories, relieve tension and forge bonds, which for one, can’t be liquidated. And thank god for that.

So how many of you have been surfing on net and sitting for long hours on dating sites hoping to find someone you’ll be making  the greatest romantic connection with? Well, most of the times, isn’t it? In spite of spending so much time on it, do you feel that you are nowhere and that you are doomed in this whole online dating business? If yes, then its time to stop feeling sorry about yourself!

If you think that you are only being unlucky in this genre, you are wrong. Luck has no role to play in it. If you are doing just what other women also do, you are probably dating in a blindfolded manner, because you don’t even know what you are doing. If so far you have been unsuccessful and dissatisfied with your dating patterns, it is time for you to take a few steps back and see where exactly are things not working for you.

Since we women are sensitive people and being lonely vulnerable as well, we often getting carried away in the process of finding the right guy for us. After some time we forget the fact as to why did we decide to date people online in the place? What are the qualities you want to see in that person and which qualities are you ready to compromise with? What are YOUR needs and desires behind getting into all this? Do these parameters stay in your mind when you talk to someone? If I answer on your behalf, I don’t think many of us really remember these things while chatting with someone. If we don’t get the right person to talk to for a long time, we probably try our chance with everyone we meet online.

So how do you avoid this?

Simple – by being in constant touch with what do you really want from your lover. When you start talking to someone, you won’t take much time in realizing if the person fits in your parameters, if you keep your mind alert. And the moment this thing strikes you, it is best to drop the guy there and then if we you feel he is even a little less than what you want. There is no need to compromise in any way. So your decision making in this regard has to be quick or else you’ll drain a lot of energy unnecessarily from yourself in dating someone just for the heck of it.

You might think that you’ll be hurting his emotions if you stop talking to him in this manner but remember that there is nothing personal between you and him still so you can make an excuse and just strike it off – in a polite manner of course!

This way you will save yourself a lot of mental energy and will always be in a judicious position to determine if someone is right for you or not!

So take these things into regard the next time you go in for online dating and you’ll never disappoint yourself!