Whether you have to communicate common day-to-day information or “big news” about most important changes in your group, the finest communications starts with some good development.

The first stride is to put yourself in the shoes of your listener. What does the other person needs to know, and desire to hear? What’s their ideal way of receiving information? What will prevent them listening to what you have to say? And how will you identify that they have got the message?

So there’s quite a bit additional to good communications than preparing a good memo or having an excellent memory!
Here are the essential rules of good communication:

1. The speaker can speak what he or she thinks wants to be said, except for disparaging statements, make-wrongs, shaming speech, blaming terms, globalizing words. Nothing to arouse the conversation. Just facts, feelings and opinion, exact and honest.

2. The listener listens to whatever is said, fully - even when having a rejoinder. Breathing during the reactions, giving the orator the reverence of being listened to.

3. When the speaker is done with the conversation, the listener will return back to the speaker a summarized description of what the speaker said, to make sure the speaker is totally understood.

4. The speaker will take this opportunity to further make clear what he or she said and meant to say and the discussion goal(s).

5. If the speaker provided fresh information, the listener will come back with a summarized version of what the speaker said, to make sure the speaker is actually understood.

6. Now the listener gets to exchange roles with the speaker. The new speaker now speaks liberally, truly and truthfully, but cautiously.

7. The new listener gets to listen completely and later sum up what the speaker said and so on.

8. Take turns until both of you feel determined about the topic of the original conversation. Don’t finish the conversation until both of you feel resolved - don’t give up on what you wish for,need, sense, etc.

9. If tempers do burst, voices get raised, stuff are said that should not be said, get a break.

10. Soon after, when both of you are chilled out, make an apology to each other.

11. If need be, plan a time to have this conversation again, and labor through the steps again to resolution.