The most asked questions by women of all ages is:” Is he is in love with me?” I have a difficult take on what is “love” and what is not?

Romantic attraction and sexual chemistry happens for a majority of men in three stages and in real life,

Even if the process of “falling in love” happens to us in only in two stages, it is actually much more difficult for us women to “fall in love” than it is for men. I am sure, this is news for some women, and even hard to believe others . So let me try to explain how easy it is to increase chemistry with a man if you know what you are working with and what you are up against.

1. The first stage of “falling in love” for a man is instant: fast and furious

Unknown to a majority of women, men fall in love at first sight even more frequently than do women. Research shows that within the first fifteen seconds, a women will have decided( sub-consciously) if she will give a guy a chance to try to” make her fall in love” or not. In the same amount of time, a man will have decided if he is “turned” on by how a woman looks or not.

While women use visual, emotions and safety (including financial) cues to assess a man’s desirability, over 90% of a man’s decision at this stage is purely based on visual cues. When his eyes lock on to women for the first time, they lock on to her visual presentation. Whatever he recognize as” suited to carry on his gene, and legacy”, that’s what he focuses on, admiring and lingering on its details. Some men get super glued on boobs, others on booties and others on legs etc. Physical features and bouncy behavior that suggests youth, health and vitality place one woman ahead of all the other pack. And if you are attentive and not trying to delude yourself or force a relationship to happen, you will know when a man is visually attracted to you. He Will Tell You- in very specific verbs and he simply can’t take his eyes off you!

Keep in mind that at this first stage, its just pure sexual chemistry. At this stage you are still dispensable and interchangeable. You’re still just another woman in the pack, and he is still very much attracted to several other women at the same time. How physically attractive a man finds you determines how much time he’ll want to spend with you, and later in the relationship “looks” confirm to him again and again why he finds you attractive. If a man is not physically attracted to you, trying to make him “fall in love” with you is like trying to wake up a dead horse you see and believe what you want to see and believe.

2. The second stage of “falling in love” for a man is when he begins to see you as unique and special

He may still be visually attracted to other women and you may be the women with the “less than perfect” body but there is just “something about you”- and it is driving him nuts. It can be the way you talk or the way you laugh or the way you think or your enthusiasm and passion, or whatever it is you do that makes him think you must feel more deeply and experience life more profoundly and therefore you must be more delightful to be with. At this stage, he pays more attention to your needs, spends more time with you and is over protective when other men try to make a move on “his women”.

3.The third stage of “falling in love” for a man is when he has convinced himself that he is a happier and more fulfilled person with you in his life than when by himself

He feels he is with the right women at the right time, and at this stage, you will not even be asking the question “Is he in love with me?” because you will know. He will have No problem declaring to you how he really feels. He might not always use the words, “I Love You”, but he manages to get his point across. Keep in mind that in this age and time “settle down” does not necessarily mean marriage to all people but it simply means “I AM WITH THE ONE”. This feeling of “I AM WITH THE ONE” is not the same thing as when he feels he “needs” you.

You will do yourself great favour if right now, here and today, you decide to exercise your power of choice to have what you want and to stop wasting time, emotions and energy on going-no-where relationships.

We get so involved with life, work and our own individual lives that we forget about our loved one and take him for granted. It becomes very important for you to take efforts to maintain the spark in your love life to make it interesting and enjoyable rather than dull and boring.

As your relationship starts to grow, it becomes monotonous and boring. Don’t panic each one of us have to face this at one point or the other in life. Here are a few tips that will help you spice up your relationship:

• Communication is the best to keep the spark in your relationship alive. Never carry on a relationship just for the heck of it. Talk out the problems you facing with your partner. Plan out and spent time with your partner to discuss the various issues.

• When the both of you come home from work always give each other a hug. This gesture of yours will make them feel loved and wanted and also that you are always there by their side. Show him your support.

• Boredom may also occur when you are spending too much time with your partner. Try and give space in your relationship. Never loose your own identity when you are in a relationship. Too often in a relationship we forget ourselves and try and imbibe the other person’s likes and dislikes. Do things which you like to do individually.

• Keep gifting things to each other. Giving non occasional gifts to each other will help you maintain the charm in your relation.

• You can also gift him things that would remind him of your first few dates together. Writing love letters might also be another innovative way to bring back the spice.

• To spice up your relationship with your partner you should always try something different and unique which he would never expect from you.

• To make your love life more exciting, take out some time and take a long vacation with your beloved so that you can fall in love with him all over again.

• Compliment your partner often to show him that you still notice him and also appreciate him for his achievements.

• You can join a dance class with your partner to spend time together and to relax with each other.

• Work on your appearance. Give yourself a different look.

If you really want to bring back spark and charm in your life go out of your way in expressing your love for him.

After the best you could do to bring back the passion and ardor you once shared with your partner, there is still something going amiss and you know not what to do. You love your mate like anything and you want to get back that sense of longing once again. Here’s an answer to your imbroglio!

The first thing you need to accept is that nothing remains constant. Time is transitory, we as people are in constant transition and so are our circumstances as well. Therefore as your bond with your mate deepens, you will undergo many experiences and stages in it when your romance may not be in its most active phase. The reasons could be anything – stress, work load, anxiety due to financial pressures, anything. In such situations, when we women see our partners losing interest in us, we try doing everything they like but still are not able to ignite their attraction for us.

Now the most important thing to be kept in mind here is that this in no terms means that love and the desire between you two has been lost. These are times when you have to not just think like a partner to your mate, but like a friend. Don’t we turn to our friends when we depressed about something? Why? Because we know that our friends will always have the compassion and empathy to understand us and guide us through the issue.

This is exactly what you need to do for your partner in these circumstances. Understand him! This may require a little more patience on your part but the best way is to let go off your expectation from him for sometime and be with him as a supporting companion. When your mate will see you are trying to be so considerate, he will automatically divulge his problems to you so that you know the reason behind his being so disparate lately. On the other hand, if instead of trying to know the reason behind his changed attitude, you start blaming him for his unlike behavior, he will only try to move away from you. Unless your partner feels that you really want to know what is going on in his life, he won’t share it with you. Your understanding with him should be such that he himself comes to you shares his blues with you.

Thus the idea here is to be his best friend and never let him feel lonely or take refuge in his own secret world. All you have to do is be a little compassionate and act patiently whenever you see your partner behaving otherwise!