If you are trying to patch up your relationship you will stand a better chance of success if you find out what went wrong. If you want to patch up your relationship you need to do some self analysis. It’s not always comfortable to have to take a serious look at your own faults and shortcomings. It can be quite a humbling experience but it is a worthwhile exercise and you should discover a few things about yourself and your ex. This will help you to avoid the same mistake when you get a chance to patch up your relationship.

In determining the real reasons for the break up consider the five most common causes of couples breaking up. To patch up your relationship you will need to know if one of these applied to you. The following five issues are the most common causes of relationship break ups:

1.    Financial. Now it is a huge issue which raises its head at different times in a relationship and has been the cause of many a divorce. Interesting to note it also becomes the number one issue in a divorce or split. Both of you are earning money you need to have a clear and mutual understanding and respect for each others financial contribution to the joint resources. What you agree to is entirely up to you but it is important that you agree from the very beginning on a mutually acceptable arrangement. It is no good complaining afterwards that one earned or spent more than the other.

2.    Trust. This probably falls more under communication than anything else. If you are trustworthy then you should have no reason to mistrust your partner. Some really nasty arguments can be started through misplaced assumptions. Equally a lot of arguments can be avoided by expressing your concerns.

3.    Sex. This is a really huge issue for many couples. It is ironic that there are so many jokes about sex. Many a true word spoken in jest. Be warned that for both men and women sex is important. Some people like sex on a daily basis while others are happy with less frequent exercise. Talk to each other and explain what you like, dislike or what you are in the mood for at any particular time. Be aware if you are a “once a month” type and your partner is a twice a day type you are heading for trouble.

4.    Family and Background. So often relationships are built around flimsy structures. Cultural and family backgrounds are far more important than many people believe. A relationship has to be something unique to transcend cultural or family traditions.

5.    Communication. As it is a very important component, it is mentioned several times in this article. Mother Nature gave us two ears and one mouth. It is reasonable to conclude that we would be wise to use them in the same ratio. Listen to what your partner has to say. Think back to the things your ex was unhappy about. Did you listen? Did you hear what was said? When communicating don’t say one thing if you mean another. Men are notorious for taking things literally whereas women say NO when they mean YES and they say NO when they mean NO. This confuses men! Surely they should know that NO means YES or NO depending on the circumstances. Communication means getting into each others heads and understanding what is meant.

If you want to patch up your relationship it is important that you find out and understand what went wrong. Only once you have determined this and accepted the part that you played in it will you be able to patch up your relationship. On the other hand you may find that that it is time to move on, that nothing you can, or are prepared to, do will help you patch up your relationship. Either way you can move forward.