Entries RSSMarriage will change my partner – a relationship-killing expectation!
Do you dislike your partner’s intake of alcohol?? If your persistent complaints are not affecting him, you come to think that marriage will certainly change him. Well, let’s get it right that you have already committed a mistake by thinking so. We all have our cues which our partner may or may not find pleasing enough. But assuming that marriage will help you change the person is only going to cause you disappointment unbound.
Firstly, the only person you can ever change is yourself. Expecting to change your partner just because he is married to you will never undo the plight of women who constantly want their partners to abandon their ill-habits. Addictive behaviors are by large out of one’s control, especially because it calls for personal intervention.
This is so because we still consider ourselves to be individuals, accustomed to living life by our own terms, without any interventions. Consequently we want even our partners to accept our persona in the same vein. We fail to understand that the person is somebody else outside of us, has lived life in a different way and may opine differently on the same issue. So saying that, “ I know its annoying when he goes out to drink with his friend during weekends but once we’re married, he’ll change”, is untrue.
Your mate will change only because he WANTS to change and not because you want him to. Well, people do bring about some changes in themselves once they are in a relation but it succeeds only so long it is natural process.
People rarely change for the better when they are under pressure from someone else, even if its their loved one. In a partnership, you work together to mutually create a new relationship. It is a sharing process. Yes, it may have its bitter moments but as long as you both are working together for each other’s betterment, you will certainly succeed.
Strong relationship does call for commitment asking for compromise, change and growth but it does not mean giving into the unreasonable demands of your partner.
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Tags :change, commitment, Love, Marriage, RelationshipOne Response to “Marriage will change my partner – a relationship-killing expectation!”
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Tue, Sep 07, 2010 at 5:09 am[...] Supreme Court recently said that a long term live-in relationship is as good as a marriage in the eyes of law. However, things are not still easy for couples deciding and want to opt for [...]
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