The biggest blow that comes to us when we lose out in a relationship is our confidence -our confidence in ourself and in goodness of life. We drain ours self to the hilt and then comes a stage when we start blaming ourselves for the wrongs happening in our life. This entire process can be highly fatal to our being causing the lowering of our self esteem.

It is the beginning of a very painful phase in our lives when we get into a war with ourselves where there is anger, sadness and unceasing cruel comparisons with those more successful and happier than us. We start feeling that we don’t deserve to be happy and that we are not needed by anyone.
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Nothing can go worse than we own selves trying to demean our own presence in this world. However, where the world is full of tips talking about we should be strong, not lose ourselves and kick back with vigor, let me tell you that accomplishing high self-esteem does not happen in an instant. This is because living life of great confidence is a great challenge for the one in basking low esteem. You might even try giving your self-esteem a boost but you may get disappointed seeing that it did not after all work out the way you had imagined. Don’t run away or get depressed with this as this behavior is very common and like every other person, you have adapted and grown to believe insecure, making it your home.

You have convinced yourself to believe that you are not good enough and therefore set a subconscious rule that you deserve to feel badly and poorly when you look at yourself. This is exactly where you need to take a few steps back. The first thing needed to be done is giving yourself some unrealistic deadlines. You need to reassure your self of the fact that you will end this and indeed work hard towards it. The most negative ingredient responsible for women failing to regain high esteem is the act giving up. This is one of the leading reasons you look yourself in such a valueless manner.

Another ingredient that adds to the curry is called laziness. This is because even if you wish to change the way you look and feel about yourself, you have grown too lazy to do anything about it. The reason is because you find it easier to stay in the place you are already in. It does not matter if it is an extremely negative position or place. What does matter and needs to be realized is that you have chosen to stay in negativity for so long, that you have become so comfortable with the fact that you do not like yourself. This is exactly why terminating low self-esteem is tough. You handed over all of your power and strength to it, allowing it to dictate your being and the way you handle life.

The best way is to engage yourself in some work such that you don’t get any time even to think about yourself or about anything for that matter. Just dissolve yourself in some result-oriented work so that when results start pouring in, you’ll not only regain your lost confidence but also become aware about your potential as an individual.

HUG is just a three sweet letter word but is regarded as the best medicine to heal broken hearts. A beautiful quote by Shel Silverstein
“I will not play at tug o’ war
I’d rather play at hug o’ war,
where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs….”

Sometimes, hugs are a romantic exchange. A hug may also be exchanged as a sign of support and comfort. A hug can be a demonstration of affection and emotional warmth, sometimes arising out of joy or happiness at meeting someone. Hugs are an important expression of affection. By hugging someone, you remind them that you care about them and support them. If you’re angry at a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug - which is all the more reason to do so. It’s hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that’s precisely what happens when we hug each other. Here are few steps to give a good hug to your loved one –

• Approach the person

Friend Hug (girls): Approach caringly, sometimes humorously, and smile.

Friend Hug (guys): Approach quickly, usually not looking them in the eye.

Lover Hug: It doesn’t matter who starts this; either can make it just as romantic. When approaching, put your hands on their shoulders and look them in the eyes. Say you love them, how much you care for them, and how much you are loving every second with them. Then fall into each other and hug with all your heart.

• Embrace. Lean forward and wrap your arms around the person.

Friend Hug (girls): Close your eyes and think about how much you love your friend when hugging. Press as much as you feel like. (But don’t squish!)

Friend Hug (guys): Embrace strongly, and clap each other on the top of your backs. If it’s an emotional moment, keep in the hugged position for a brief moment and do not clap each other’s backs.

Lover Hug: Extend your arms toward him and hold them around his neck and shoulders. Lean as close as possible and press your torso against his. Avoid holding your arms below his shoulders and/or embracing strongly and tensely.

• Don’t hug too tightly. The best way to judge how tight or loose to hug is to let whomever your hugging tells you by how hard they squeeze. If they are soft, be soft back; if they like bear hugs and squeeze tightly, do the exact same back (but don’t suffocate him/her).

• Don’t let go too early. A hug is a powerful way to communicate your caring for another person, as it can feel great and greatly improve one’s mood. If someone hugs you, they may want a long, loving hug (maybe they are upset or down), so just go along with it and hug them until they let go or loosen their hold.

• HELPING TIP
Be welcoming when you hug. If either of you requested the hug, then be warm and loving and just make it feel like the person you’re hugging is safe from anything else and that you and whoever are the only people that matter at the moment.

A hug is worth a thousand words and is the shortest distance between friends. Sometimes it’s better to put love into hugs than to put it into words. A hug can break down barriers that sometimes words cannot do. At times, it can speak more than any words can say. We bond with a hug. We find comfort with a hug. We greet and separate from each other with a hug. We establish human contact and interaction with a hug. The beauty of a hug is in its simplicity. The gesture towards another human being, known or unknown is easy. It costs nothing but a simple act of caring and kindness.

Over the precedent decade, I’ve worked with thousands of persons seeking ways to perk up their ability to attract their perfect mate. As an effect, I’ve formed a list of ten most commonly set personal development steps I advise for those wanting to draw and create their ideal relationship. I’ll share the first five steps with you now.

1. Get complete with your past to split relationship patterns.

When you no longer bear the “baggage” about your past relationships and your early days, you are emotionally liberated to be in your ideal relationship. When you’re emotionally open, you are better able to:

* distinguish partners who are incompatible with you before you get involved;
* naturally attract more appropriate partners;
* stop trying to resolve issues from previous relationships in your current one;
* alter all of your relationships to be clear and satisfying.

2. Ask for what you desire in any relationship.

It is a fable that people should know what you want. When you are able to inquire for what you want, you turn out to be easier to be with,easier to happiness, and therefore much further attractive. People see you as lucid and straight-forward.

3. The extra you want a relationship.

Have a laundry record, a timetable for when it should happen; the less liable you are to have it. The only way to exert a pull on a fulfilling relationship is to have a fulfilling life. You get to have a fulfilling life amid or without a partner, while becoming obviously attractive. When you are striking in this way, you no longer need to gaze for your ideal partner - you will involuntarily attract him or her.

4. Don’t try to modify yourself to “fit” into a relationship.

You will not be able to create a center of attention to your ideal partner by knowing what men/women wish for in a relationship and trying to offer it. If you know what you want and what you can grant in a relationship, you will attach with a partner who is a natural fit for you. Look deep inside yourself to find out what you crave in a relationship and what you can offer

5. Review communication in your relationships.

There are three questions to raise to yourself concerning communication in a relationship, whether you are just dating someone, are in a new relationship or in an recognized one.

1) Can you talk to your partner frankly and openly about your feelings, wants and requirements and can he or she hear you and react?

2) Can the two of you put together corrections in your relationship when essential?

3) Do the two of you have more communication and trouble solving than drama?

If your reply to these three is “yes,” the two of you have the obligatory beginning of building a fantastic relationship.

If you are answer is no, you need to think about stepping up communication. A really good relationship, filling to both partners, always has exceptional communication as one of its cornerstones.