You are in love with a guy who’s given you the best of times, has been immensely caring and given you more than you could ever ask for. Everything is sailing fine until one day the inevitable happens and you find yourself separated from him. You world comes down to a closure. You just can’t fathom what has happened and why. You feel distressed to the core, knowing nothing what to do.

Months pass by but that calls for no change within you. You are still a prisoner of your past. Every moment of every day you remind yourself of the pain and suffering you went through when you broke apart and then of the good times you’ve had. You are sure that no one else can ever bring you those happy times or perhaps you fear that everyone will be hopelessly flawed, because that is just the way all relationships are, especially for you.

You know this is the sad story of most of us around. But the shackles have to be broken sooner or later, lest you’ll see yourself swinging in this vicious circle repeatedly.

So how do you change this negative thought process of yours? The most important thing is to examine what your beliefs are and try to connect them with at least one past experience you’ve had. You may also include in it, your any childhood experience with your relationship of your parents, grandparents, and any other adults you were exposed to at that time. What was your general impression of those bonds? What were your conclusions about those relationships? Do those perceptions hold any connection with any relationships you have had while dating with men?

You’ll see that you’ve come up with some really interesting and useful conclusions by the end of it all. My reason of asking you to do so is all the experiences you’ve had have added up in your mind to develop a perception of how relationships generally fare. Hence that makes you to act in a specific way whenever you confront such a situation.

So now that you know the cause behind your negative pattern, you must make a conscious choice to avoid those thoughts from coming to you when you date someone. Decide to be open and to see every new person and unique experiences brought by him in positive earnest. Just be yourself and go with the flow without thinking much!

Your date has been arranged with this guy you met at your friend’s place. A few calls and he asks you out. He kind of behaved well with you, seemed well mannered and so you feel like giving it a try. So here you are with him but once the initial greetings have been exchanged, a strange silence falls upon. You first feel he’s shy but he did speak a lot over a phone. He tried talking to you initially but now he’s mum. You have no clue what’s going on!

Young ladies are not new to this kind of situation I’m sure! You meet someone thinking that you finally have someone sensible enough but when you meet, things fall back a tad too differently than you thought. You get confused. Well don’t be because here’s what this exactly means.

Silence can sometimes be deafening. It can speak volumes about what the guy you are dating. If your date has little to say to you, the first implication that this gesture brings is he is not interested in you. Period! If he’s be shy you would know but he’s not.
Perhaps he thinks you won’t really care to hear what he has to say after knowing you. Or maybe you won’t appreciate to hear what’s on his mind. He could be in a sour mood as well. These are some likely reasons of him not being very articulate with you but only you can interpret this. Be careful not to quickly write it off to something as opposed to what it really is.

When such a situation does arise on your date, just be calm, come up with genuine excuse if you feel that he’s showing no interest but is actually wasting his time and yours, greet and leave! In future make sure you’ve known him better in letter and spirit to think of meeting him!

How often do you go on a first date, thinking that the other person act in a certain way? Do you go out with the feeling that this will be only turn out to be a negative experience or just an absolute waste of time? Do you find yourself judging the other person based on what his profession is or how his dressing sense? While on the date, do you mentally compare them with someone from your past? Do you experience sadness or frustration because none of the people you meet are like him?

Considering you recognize yourself in at least one of these above mentioned situations, I have no doubts in stating that you could be setting yourself up for relationship failure once again.

Women are sensitive creatures, sometimes oversensitive! And thus I have often seen that when in a particular relationship they give their 100 percent fails, they get trapped in it even though the relationship no longer exists. So many women I’ve met are still the prisoners of their past. Everything they do and perceive after that is based on the beliefs they’ve formed in their last relationships. What’s worse is they don’t even give anyone else a chance to even to even prove their worthiness to them and this exactly leads to sabotaging their chances at relationship success.

This becomes like a painful vicious circle in which your self-created perceptions start victimizing your own self. It gets hold of you and repeatedly creates a self-fulfilling negative dating experience.

You know the moment you start realizing this tendency in you, you need to take control or else this might engulf you completely. You will have to make a conscious effort to pull yourself out of it by opening your mind towards other people you meet. One thing you need to understand for sure is that no two people are exactly similar. So stop finding your ex-boyfriend in the other person.
Give him the space and honor to be himself and see if his attitude strikes you or not. Talk to him, spend some time with him, try and open up on general things with him, see if his quotes make you laugh or feel lighter in his presence. If yes, then there are no doubts in the fact that you are enjoying his company. Just go with the flow and you might find yourself happier than you might have ever imagined!