The biggest blow that comes to us when we lose out in a relationship is our confidence -our confidence in ourself and in goodness of life. We drain ours self to the hilt and then comes a stage when we start blaming ourselves for the wrongs happening in our life. This entire process can be highly fatal to our being causing the lowering of our self esteem.
It is the beginning of a very painful phase in our lives when we get into a war with ourselves where there is anger, sadness and unceasing cruel comparisons with those more successful and happier than us. We start feeling that we don’t deserve to be happy and that we are not needed by anyone.
Nothing can go worse than we own selves trying to demean our own presence in this world. However, where the world is full of tips talking about we should be strong, not lose ourselves and kick back with vigor, let me tell you that accomplishing high self-esteem does not happen in an instant. This is because living life of great confidence is a great challenge for the one in basking low esteem. You might even try giving your self-esteem a boost but you may get disappointed seeing that it did not after all work out the way you had imagined. Don’t run away or get depressed with this as this behavior is very common and like every other person, you have adapted and grown to believe insecure, making it your home.
You have convinced yourself to believe that you are not good enough and therefore set a subconscious rule that you deserve to feel badly and poorly when you look at yourself. This is exactly where you need to take a few steps back. The first thing needed to be done is giving yourself some unrealistic deadlines. You need to reassure your self of the fact that you will end this and indeed work hard towards it. The most negative ingredient responsible for women failing to regain high esteem is the act giving up. This is one of the leading reasons you look yourself in such a valueless manner.
Another ingredient that adds to the curry is called laziness. This is because even if you wish to change the way you look and feel about yourself, you have grown too lazy to do anything about it. The reason is because you find it easier to stay in the place you are already in. It does not matter if it is an extremely negative position or place. What does matter and needs to be realized is that you have chosen to stay in negativity for so long, that you have become so comfortable with the fact that you do not like yourself. This is exactly why terminating low self-esteem is tough. You handed over all of your power and strength to it, allowing it to dictate your being and the way you handle life.
The best way is to engage yourself in some work such that you don’t get any time even to think about yourself or about anything for that matter. Just dissolve yourself in some result-oriented work so that when results start pouring in, you’ll not only regain your lost confidence but also become aware about your potential as an individual.
Everyday we have millions of people signing up to date on the net. Some prefer doing it online for a considerable period of time, some sign in just to pick phone numbers and to start off from there! Where are certainly all types of options available for you, it is imperative for you to decide what exactly do you want from a relationship?
Dating sites have a vast gamut of options available for both men as well as women but women need to be extra careful before starting off in this direction. I am saying so because women are sensitive creatures and so you must ensure that you don’t get involved in anything that ends up eroding you as an individual. Well, until you are mentally prepared for it.
So the first thing like a said is knowing what you actually want from the relationship you are actually seeking. Do you simply want to flirt with your partner? Are you in for a physical relationship without any emotional strings attached? If you’ve had an experience, how you feel about it after you’ve had it? Did you mix your feelings in the process of simply seeking a flirty partner? Do you really relate to the concept you are going in for?
You know these are some questions you need to answer before heading for a relationship. This is because is you are not sure of what you want, how can you complain about after you’ve entangled yourself in something you never expected? So it is mandatory for you to know if you want to just hook up with a guy or are really in for a long lasting relationship!
Think well, you must have a strong attitude and aptitude towards anything you are heading for to ensure that you don’t end up regretting in anyway!
Be confident and act smart!
Finding a perfect mate for some women is a dream they live almost everyday of their lives where as for some it is just an illusion. Where the world and the literature is full of examples telling us that there’s exists a dream partner, present times have a different story to tell.
I am not against the fact that we can’t find a perfect mate for ourselves. We surely can but our approach towards this search does not suit the present scenario or rather no one should ever employ that thought thinking she’ll find a man of her dreams one day.
See the fact is when we first create an image of the kind of person we want in our life, it becomes static in our mind. We have exact boundaries of what should the person be doing, thinking, eating, dressing and behaving. And when we start meeting real men around us, we are never able to relate to any of them because we feel that they are somehow not fitting into our image-eligibility criteria of accepting them as our partner. So even if we like someone but he is a shade different from the image we are bearing in our mind, we drop him. And so our search and wait for our perfect mate goes on and on and on.
You know if we get a bit deeper into this, this like a rat race which possibly never ends. No man (made up of flesh and blood) can fit into the criteria of being your perfect one until you learn to accept his uniqueness as a person. Every individual is different in his own way and your mind (unless you are god) can ever carve out the exact qualities a man will ever have and then dream about it.
What is important for you to think is what do you really crave for as a person? Once you become aware about your own innate self, you learn that meeting different people and appreciating their uniqueness isn’t a burden on you. Once you are sure of the basic thing you seek in a person, the rest can be just put to god because you never know a wonderful person may come your way and make you happier than you ever thought to be with the virtual man in your mind.
The idea here is to be open as a person; take time to meditate as to what is important in your life and you’ll never victimize yourself with an image and spend all your life around it.