Wish you a very Happy New year my friends! I pray the dawn of this New Year brings for you all successes in life and immense sunshine in your love life! Let’s pledge to make this year unique by living life true to our own spirit and turning in into a spring of happiness for yourself as well your beloved!
The New Year is standing before us, its arms spread wide to welcome us into a new future! How well we employ this New Year to bring in all the untouched happiness for us is now our prerogative so here I am with some subtle advice for all my readers. All year long you have reading solutions or advices to all kids of fluxes that occur in a relationship. But in this one, I’ll tell you about a secret path that’ll help you discover the real being in your partner, the innermost voice of his/her which makes him/her the individual he/she is.

This year pledge to learn the unique love language of your beloved! Whether you have just gotten together or are in a relationship since long, there it is a unique love language spoken by each one of us in our own way. Some let the silence do the talking, some try to come up with thoughts in a subtle way and some speak it with hugs and kisses! If you have been wondering what is it that has been lacking in your relationship despite you trying to do whatever you possibly can, it is this thing which you might be losing upon.

The fact of the matter is not all individuals are vocal about it. In fact no one is vocal about it. This is one thing which needs to be discovered and once you know it, it greatly contributes to the emotional strength of the bond shared by you.

Even in your innate moments, your partner may not be able to openly divulge his/her desire. In the process of knowing each other through talking or just spending some time together by being around, you will have to observe what is it that your partner likes. Some like to be bestowed with little surprises, some feel taking a day off with your partner for no reason makes them feel special, some may just love holding out hand silently while walking beside you. These are some simple things you’ll learn only if you try to observe with patience and compassion the emotional responses of your lover.

Hence if you still do not know the love language of your beloved, take this opportunity to now discover it in your unique way and you’ll see that doing little acts of compassion for your partner will fill him/her with so much warmth and ardor for you that you never might have imagined!

Knowing each other’s love language will then open doors to a new genre of bonding for you and you’ll actually discover what true is really is. Living this I would say will be like living true to one’s spirit!

“ I have contributed as much as I could in this relationship but got nothing in return. Perhaps you don’t need me anymore so I think its better that we go our separate ways.” Doesn’t this statement form the underlying cause of most break-ups we see around us, now a days?? Why does the disappointment engulf us so much that we become ready to take on the pain of living without the person we ardently love and want?? Let’s have a look!!

It is a terrible lie to say that each partner has to contribute his/her bit to make a relationship successful. There is nothing like 50:50 ratio that needs to be fulfilled for a prosperous long-term relationship. The truth is after the mystical magic of today’s glamorous weddings, our expectations for a fairy tale marriage leads us down the road to disappointment and disillusionment. And the victims that mostly fall in this genre are we, the women.

However, men usually don’t tend to understand the reason behind their ladies accusing them for not giving enough time to their relation. A relationship does not always require flowery words or figurative expressions to describe the emotion. Women are sensitive, soulful beings. Even little gestures like bringing a bud of wild flower does make the day for women. But shouldering responsibility to know what your lady love likes and likes not is as necessary a thing is eating your meal. For, women live by these small things which may not add to a relation in particular but makes a great difference in general. But men don’t really think in the same way.

They may seem to be more responsive to physical acts of love, which again helps in bonding strongly with your partner if channelised properly. However, women dwell more in platonism and frustration is bound to come when this aspect is not tapped.

Thus we tend to say that, “ I’ve had enough.You’re selfish. If you really loved me, you’d understand what I need. I’ve been giving and giving and I get nothing in return. You don’t give me what I want anymore.”

So its not the 50-50 deal that will ever help you get your partner respond to you. Differences and Intimacy are a recipe for conflict. More than being focused on how much you are ‘giving’ it is more important to have faith in the goal of a winning relationship and working mutually (with 100% dedication) to achieve it.

When the moment dawns, we say that ‘Love is in the air’. Our hearts start pounding faster, the very thought of our loved one, puts shivers down our spine and we indeed never cease to smile even at the slightest provocation. Love does make the world go round. But happy times end soon and a strange sense of emptiness creeps in. We grow restless with time, as if our love is not being answered. We itch long to have carefree delights of passion, to fall in love all over again, just for the feeling…

This is the plight of most of us today. Men may say that we women, are a bit too meditative about the concept of love but no, we are what god made us, what he wanted us to be – delicate, brittle beings, born to love.

Unfortunately reality speaks a different language. Once in a relation, we often tend to nurture our simplest of actions with utmost care and concern, only to make sure that our beloved never feels otherwise. Expecting the same in return is but obvious likewise. We crave for love that entices us to feel the thrill of passion through even the most basic actions and gestures. But as time passes, we see that the fire looses its warmth. Talking to your beloved becomes a monotonous ritual. Being around doesn’t make a difference and gradually the enthusiasm to share even your thoughts with him, diminishes. The ‘unspoken’ understanding, which you thought would flow in naturally never really comes.So your quest to find true love remains unfound and you soon find yourself moving from relationship to relationship always in search of what you only find in the beginning.

Well, the lacuna lies in our understanding of things. Expecting love in the same earnest as ours will never, and I mean NEVER bring our partner to do what we like. You may even try complaining but it will only breed relentless arguments for your partner still fail to understand your urge.

True long-term love requires more than just being there. It requires that you invest your energies in understanding your partner’s mental makeup, act in ways that inspire deeper sharing, learn ways to communicate appreciation and most importantly be patient when things don’t work out as you thought.

Our relationship is like a garden and our love its roses – beautiful, fragrant, free yet unpredictable in its growing, always surrounded by thorns. We often tend to ignore these thorns as they don’t seem visible but with time they start causing us pain. The challenge lies in getting inside your partner’s skin and communicating your bit his way. Have compassion. Arrogance can never help you win your partner. Serving your thoughts with a smile and at the right time will invariably break the ice and open a new genre of understanding for you. You’ll finally draw comfort in the safety of your relationship and achieve your dreams with your loving partner by your side.